Yowsa!

Okay...so God pretty much has been getting on to me all day today for my attitude yesterday. Not getting on to me like being mean or anything...he doesn't do that...but gettting on to me about not being thankful for the wonderful people that he HAS put around me in my life. I have a wonderful group of friends who do love me more than I realize, that God has placed in my life. I'm sorry God that I was so ungrateful yesterday. I get in this rut sometimes when I just feel like I'm not connected with anyone...like there isn't someone that really knows what is going on in my life and can just see through my facade...But, its my fault that they aren't connecting because I have that wall up... then, again, I sometimes feel if they paid attention and cared enough that they would see pass that. If they spent the time to actually care they would see... am I asking to much? Is this not a reasonable request to ask for friends who can see the real me and want to know what is going on in my head and want to know what I feeling and going through? Is it not reasonable to ask for friends who want to live life as it really is with me and not always paint pretty pictures that don't really exist? I guess I have to be more real for that to truly happen... but will people want to connect when they see the raw, real me. Will people care enough to put forth effort to have a healthy friendship that deals with more than just surface issues? The group of friends that I have...are friends that I've had my whole life... will they remain...if I let them see me? Jesus has...I'm thankful for that.