This Heart of Mine

Where do you go when your heart belongs somewhere that it cannot be? What do you do with a heart that belongs to someone else...but, that door has been closed? How do you move on from that? How do you make it let go of someone it is refusing to release?
This is what I'm dealing with. I've pushed myself back out into the dating pool. It's not where I want to be. I can't look for romance, yet. That would be way to difficult. But, I am trying to at least make myself get out there and make connections.
I went on my first date today in a long, long time. It was supposed to be meeting as friends...someone to hike with, see movies, etc. But, the guy had a few more things on his fun things to do list that I'm not ready for.
But, it did feel good to be kissed again. Yeah...I did let that happen. That's probably where I went wrong. So, guess maybe the pushiness at the end of the date is my fault. I didn't stop him from kissing me.
I was there today. However, my heart was not. My heart will never be ready to move on. It found it's home, it's place of belonging. I am okay with my heart being a nomad. I'm okay with my heart staying true to it's owner... but, how do I make the rest of me move on without it. Is it possible?
Some say the solution is to disconnect from the owner completely. I would die. Every part of me would utterly die. He is the person I care about and rely on more than anyone other than Jesus. He's my best friend. He is my person. But, even if he decided that is what is best (cause I would never make that decision, its not what is best for me)...that wouldn't change a thing with my heart.
I know the door for us is closed. It would take a lot of things to happen for that door to ever be opened and it would have to be a miracle from God on so many levels. So, it's not that i"m not accepting of our circumstance or not willing to comply. I am. My heart doesn't care, on the other hand. It has found it's home.
So, as I'm making these steps...small, small baby steps into the dating pool again. How do I deal with this heart of mine?